


My safe haven

by hellozukohere



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bad Parenting, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Injury, Kissing, M/M, Panic Attacks, Protective Iwaizumi Hajime
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:54:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28499376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellozukohere/pseuds/hellozukohere
Summary: "It is okay. Everything is okay, you hear me?", he said. He honestly didn't know if he was telling that to himself or to Oikawa. All he knew was that it was very much needed.Or: Oikawa has a panic attack and calls the only person that comes to his mind.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 40





	My safe haven

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Anxiety; panic attacks
> 
> Happy New Year everyone! :)  
> I hope you guys enjoy this fanfic, I had a lot of fun making it!  
> I will try to update it as soon as possible. Love y'all! <3

Oikawa was laying alone in his bed staring at the empty ceiling of his room a volleyball in his hand. They had lost today`s practice match against Shiratorizawa. And not only that but at his last jump serve he had, unfortunately, landed on his bad knee.

It had hurt, but not as much as losing did. Or the feeling of having failed his team as a captain once again. Or the look Ushijima Wakatoshi had given him the moment he made the final point. A look that said ´no matter how hard you work, I will always be better then you. I will always beat you`.

Oikawa threw the ball with all the strength he had left to the other side of his room knocking various belongings of his down. He screamed letting out all his bottled-up frustration.

Why couldn`t he have been born with natural talent?

Why did geniuses like Ushijima and Tobio have to exist? It is unfair. He had put his everything into this sport and there they were perfecting everything he had worked so hard for with ease. He couldn't help but feel inferior to people like them. They were always a step ahead of him and it made him furious. He closed his eyes shut.

And then there was his team. They were like a family to him. Just the thought of this being his last year with them made his heart ache. He would always put them first even though this feeling might not be reciprocated. He knew it probably wasn't. After all, they reminded him often enough that he was just leverage to them.

´I wonder how you can even get a girlfriend with a shitty personality like yours`

´I don't even know why you are our captain`

´Captain is paying. That's what he is here for anyways.`

At first, he had thought they were jokes, but after a while, he began seeing the truth in those seemingly light-hearted comments. His insecurities started gaining in on him and so he would spend hours staring in the mirror replaying those words over and over again in his head.

It didn't help that he was alone. His parents were barely at home and when they were they didn't talk much. Sure, at school he was always surrounded by people, admirers even, but that didn't fill the void he was feeling.

Those people didn't know nor cared about him. Only his team, or rather his childhood friend Iwaizumi did. And hearing them point out everything he hated about himself every single day was painful and exhausting. Nevertheless, he still managed to fake out a smile or a chuckle at those taunts. He didn't need them to know how weak he truly was.

But when he would return to the house that was supposed to be his home he would break down.

´They will leave me and I will be alone`

´They hate me, don't they?`

´If I can't be good enough as a person, I should at least try to be as a captain and teammate`

More often then not those thoughts would intensify his anxiety to the point where he would be left desperately gasping for air. Nobody knew about the panic attacks or about the sleepless nights he had spent crying alone hugging his body. And if they did notice his puffy eyes at practise, they didn't call him out on it.

____________________________________

It was now 3am in the morning and Oikawa was still laying down wide awake. The frustration that had been consuming him earlier was now gone and instead replaced by an unsettling feeling in his gut. He had disappointed his team today. He had once again lost to those demons. What if his team didn't want him as their captain anymore? Or at all? They wouldn't replace him, would they?

He felt his breath shorten.

´God, please not now.`, he pleaded.

But this unsettling feeling started spreading. Deluging his senses completely. He knew what was about to come, but he refused to accept it. He needed to get to the bathroom.

´Maybe a splash of cold water will help me clear my head`

As soon as he stood up a sharp pain invaded his body.

"Fuck.", he cursed between gritted teeth.

´Pull yourself together. It is just a few steps.`

And with that, he started limping towards his bathroom purposefully ignoring the increasing pain and anxiety. He was just a few feet away when his legs gave out and he crashed to the ground falling on his knee.

He lead out a pitiful cry as he felt his last bit of strength fade away. His body was now laying limp on the cold wooden floor only disrupted by his shivering.

As much as he hated to admit it he needed help. Usually he would have just waited until the attack would pass. He didn't want to disturb anyone, he was already enough of a burden, to begin with. But this time was different.

Before he knew it he grabbed his phone from his pocket with shaking hands and clicked on the only contact he knew to call.

___________________________

It was the middle of the night when Iwaizumi Hajime heard his phone go off. He cursed under his breath as he looked at his phone.

"Do you even know what time it is, Shittykawa?", he said picking up the phone. Even though his voice was even gruffer than usual due to this rude awakening, he still didn't sound half as mad as he wanted to. Truth is he was even kind of relieved to have seen his friend's name pop up on his screen. He had been kind of off lately. Especially today after their loss. Instead of giving the team one of his motivational and way too cheesy speeches, he had just packed up his bags and left after stretching. Not a single word had left the brunette's lips. And that was a very rare occurrence. But this relief vanished as soon as he heard his captain speak.

"Iwa I- I can't breath."

He paled.

"What!? Where the hell are you? Trashykawa this better not be one of your jokes or so help me god...", he exclaimed. The tiredness that priorly enveloped him was now gone. He was sitting up straight in bed a sense of panic tingling in his skin.

"Home. I- Please Iwa. Help." He heard the younger one lightly sob. Ok, this was definitely not a joke. He immediately sprung to his feet and quickly grabbed his jacket.

"I'm on my way. What happened?", he asked. He was trying to keep his calm, but that became increasingly harder as he heard a quiet thud. After that there was nothing else he heard from Oikawa other then sniffling and pained cries. He started sprinting towards his house as soon as he had put on his shoes. Thankfully, Oikawa didn't live very far from him.

Within minutes he had reached his destination and Iwaizumi hurried to grab the spare keys that he knew were hidden beneath the doormat and opened the door. He quickly entered and ran towards Oikawa's room. He had been here often enough and knew his way around this huge house.

But before he could even reach his room he found Oikawa laying on the floor in the hallway. He was shaking violently and sobs were erupting from his body. Iwaizumi had never seen his best friend like this and the sight of him in pain, he decided right in that moment, was not something he wanted to ever see again.

"Oikawa!", he called out, but the setter didn't react. It was like he hadn't even heard him.

He went over to him crouching down to grab him. However, as soon as he touched him the setter flinched and tried scampering away from Iwaizumi. That is when he noticed the captains ragged breathing.

He was having a panic attack. This realization hit him like a truck. His best friend was having a panic attack. And a bad one at that.

He decided that touching him again probably wouldn't be the smartest idea right now and chose to just sit near him.

"I don't know if you can hear me Tōru, but it is me. Iwaizumi. You are safe." Still no response. The ace was forcing himself to keep his cool. Freaking out would only cause Oikawa to panic even more.

"Ok, try breathing with me. It`s going to be alright.", he continued and started guiding him through breathing exercises.

After what felt like an eternity Oikawa slowly started trying to follow along. His breathing became calmer and calmer over time until he finally became responsive again.

"Iwa-chan.", he whimpered. And just like that, the spikers heart broke. But he knew he couldn't be weak. Not now. He needed to stay strong for his friend who was still trembling and had silent tears streaming down his face. He helped him sit up, but realized soon enough that Oikawa didn't have the strength to be able to hold his own weight and so he let him lean on his chest.

He embraced him delicately not wanting to hurt him. He still didn't know if the brunette was injured or not. He didn't know many things, he dreadfully thought as he looked down at his captain who was now weakly clutching his midriff.

"It is okay. Everything is okay, you hear me?", he said. He honestly didn't know if he was telling that to himself or to Oikawa. All he knew was that it was very much needed.

"My knee.", Oikawa chocked out. Iwaizumi furrowed his brow at that. He hoped he was wrong and that his worries were completely unfounded. That this was his good knee and he just fell on it causing a slight bruise. But that wasn't the case

"Which knee?", he asked and the setter signaled at his right leg. Well, fuck. He carefully rolled up the sweatpants Oikawa was wearing to get a good look at it, whilst the younger third year was still laying with his back pressed against his teammate.

It was heavily swollen and a bruise had already started forming. Iwaizumis frown deepened.

"We have to go to the hospital.", he said. But he hadn't anticipated the reaction that followed. Oikawa looked up at him with sheer panic.

"No, please. I- I can't. Please Iwa. I- I have medication for it on a shelf somewhere. And I will stay home for a week. Just. Please. No hospital.", he stammered barely forming proper sentences. Iwaizumi sighed.

"3 weeks.", he said and Oikawa gave him a confused look.

"You are going to stay at home for 3 weeks."

"But Iwa-", he tried, but was interrupted.

"No buts. And I thought I told you to tell me when your parents leave. You could have stayed with me." He knew how much Oikawa hated staying alone and often enough he had kept him company when his parents weren't at home. It hurt him that his best friend had withheld that information from him more than he would like to admit. Maybe even in a way that exceeds the roams of friendship. Iwaizumi quickly snapped out of it. It was not the time for that.

"When are they going to be back", he asked.

"In a month or so.", Oikawa nuzzled into his shoulder. Cute, he thought but dismissed this conception swiftly. He started registering what Oikawa had just said and tensed. How could parents just abandon their children like that? He took a deep breath collecting himself again.

"Yeah, you are definitely staying with me.", he said. Oikawa's eyes widened.

"You can't be serious Iwa. I can't just invade your house for that long. Also, what about your parents. I don't want to be a bother", he spurted out.

"You know exactly that my parents love you. They don't mind. And it's not like it is something you haven't done before", the ace reasoned.

"I was 9 and I only stayed over for like two weeks. Not a month. So that doesn't count.", Oikawa responded with a pout. He had missed his pout.

"It sure does. And this isn't up for discussion. Either that or the hospital.", he said. The setter opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Iwaizumi took this opportunity and kept talking.

"Now where is this medicine you were talking about?"

Oikawa just pointed towards his room. Right, they were still sitting on the floor he reminded himself. He broke loose from Oikawa only to pick him up bridal style.

"Ah! Iwa-chan! What are you doing?", he screeched his voice still hoarse from the crying earlier. That pulled Iwaizumi's mind back to what had just happened and to the reason why Oikawa was in his arms right now. He still had a lot of questions, but he needed to make sure Oikawa was alright first.

"Carrying you to your bed. You need to lay down. I will grab you everything you need and then we will have a talk.", he responded more seriously now. He looked at the injured setter only to see guilt wash over his face.

After a few seconds of eye contact, he finally spoke up. "Thank you." Iwaizumi was about to respond that there was nothing he should be thanking him for and that he would probably do the same for him when Oikawa went on.

"Im so sorry for everything.", he meekly added. That had startled Iwaizumi. They were now in Oikawas room and the ace laid him down on his bed. Oikawa was looking up at him with glassy eyes and Iwaizumi couldn't hold back anymore. He went down and kissed Oikawas forehead.

"There is nothing you should be sorry for", he said as he pulled away and walked towards the shelf with the medication.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo this was todays chapter. I really hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think I am always open for suggestions. Have a great day!:)


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